Saturday, June 6, 2009

What's Your Struggle?

For me I find that I struggle almost every day. I struggle to be a mom, wife, friend, entrepreneur, artist, and writer. With my soon to be 4 yr old daughter at home with me full time, I struggle to find ways to entertain her. She doesn't like to play alone very long, never has. The child has more toys, coloring books, and mind occupiers, but most sit to collect dust. Getting her out the door to go anywhere, fun or not, is also a struggle. So this leads me to letting her watch cartoons and movies so I can try to accomplish anything. I feel bad. I attempt to play, take her outside, and plan the occasional day out, but ultimately, this is her favorite pasttime. I therefore struggle with guilt about that.
The responsibility of all household chores seems to fall on me. So while the little one is wrapped up in Cindrella or Snow White, I clean, cook, do laundry, all the fun things I so enjoy. When my husband returns in the evening, he is often here, there, and everywhere without much question from the girlie. However, if I happen to leave her sight for too long, there is a sudden whining and sense of urgency that I return to her side. Heaven forbid I have to do a show or try to have an evening out with friends. I have never been made to feel so guilty in my entire life! After all, can't daddy put her to bed a or entertain her a few times a month?
With all of this struggle, what I really love to do falls to the bottom of the list. I find that I rarely have time to sit and create. It's next to impossible to do this while girlie is awake, because as any artist knows, it takes time for things to flow. Just when I start on a piece, she needs this or needs that. Even when daddy is home, she always needs me. I realize that comes with the territory of being a full- time, stay at home mom, but at the end of the day, it leaves me feeling depressed. I so want more time to create and to write, which is why I fail to do more than one blog post in a week. I so want to do more!
I did manage to create a few new pieces, which I hope to get onto my site within the next few days. The one pictured above is a bracelet with a large turquoise nugget in the center. It's flanked by two strands of Vintaj brass chain and accented with glass beads, and a Wish charm. Because I wish for less struggling! So my dear readers, I'd love to know (so I don't feel so bad), what is your struggle?

1 comment:

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